








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 712 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 455 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3473 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,668 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3359 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5847 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 4232 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3230 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,346,165 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alu- | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | Biggi_007 | 50% | 313 |
| #3 | Sighen | 50% | 205 |
| #4 | Everdose | 48% | 145 |
| #5 | Alu- | 47% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Biggi_007 | 26 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Sighen | 20 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Raymond Le Roi du Saucisson | 12 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Everdose | 12 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Alu- | 7 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Biggi_007 | 1328 | 0.20 | 35 min |
| #2 | Sighen | 638 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #3 | Raymond Le Roi du Saucisson | 565 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #4 | Everdose | 321 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Clap | 284 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alu- | +1.08 | 40 | 61 |
| #2 | Biggi_007 | +0.62 | 66 | 70 |
| #3 | Alu- | +0.34 | 34 | 62 |
| #4 | Sighen | +0.10 | 41 | 64 |
| #5 | Akah24 | -0.04 | 47 | 68 |





