








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 522 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 215 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3297 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,096 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6940 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6431 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5530 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5195 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,220,777 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 189 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alu- | 61% | 88 |
| #2 | Clap | 57% | 70 |
| #3 | Alu- | 52% | 48 |
| #4 | Everdose | 49% | 97 |
| #5 | Sighen | 49% | 213 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Biggi_007 | 970 | 0.21 | 26 min |
| #2 | Sighen | 618 | 0.14 | 16 min |
| #3 | Akah24 | 306 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | Elzorine | 302 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #5 | Dédé le roi du paté | 297 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alu- | +1.43 | 39 | 64 |
| #2 | Biggi_007 | +1.39 | 69 | 69 |
| #3 | Clap | +1.15 | 46 | 68 |
| #4 | Alu- | +1.07 | 36 | 68 |
| #5 | Dédé le roi du paté | +0.62 | 24 | 68 |





