








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1007 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 392 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5248 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,578 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5772 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6943 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 5000 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3863 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,799,369 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alu- | 53% | 139 |
| #2 | Clap | 50% | 145 |
| #3 | Akah24 | 50% | 313 |
| #4 | Sighen | 49% | 272 |
| #5 | Raymond Le Roi du Saucisson | 48% | 213 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sighen | 23 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Akah24 | 20 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Raymond Le Roi du Saucisson | 18 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Everdose | 15 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Alu- | 10 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sighen | 842 | 0.15 | 21 min |
| #2 | Raymond Le Roi du Saucisson | 840 | 0.18 | 21 min |
| #3 | Akah24 | 645 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #4 | Everdose | 436 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #5 | Clap | 316 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alu- | +0.73 | 36 | 61 |
| #2 | Biggi_007 | +0.70 | 69 | 70 |
| #3 | Alu- | +0.48 | 37 | 65 |
| #4 | Sighen | +0.40 | 40 | 64 |
| #5 | Clap | +0.24 | 47 | 67 |





