








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 452 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 204 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Renown | 32 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4062 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,203 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2836 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2836 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3062 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2469 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,875,691 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 242 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ochsenpensi | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | ¡A la mierda! | 57% | 97 |
| #3 | m1tCh | 53% | 58 |
| #4 | ✪︎ bladeofmatrix シ | 53% | 45 |
| #5 | grandpaCheechi .つ༽◕_◕ ༽つ. | 52% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rayk* | 11 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | MindCorrosion | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | grandpaCheech つ༽◕_◕ ༽つ | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | ¡A la mierda! | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Schlumpfdonald | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rayk* | 464 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | grandpaCheech つ༽◕_◕ ༽つ | 242 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | MindCorrosion | 192 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | Schlumpfdonald | 154 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #5 | ¡A la mierda! | 123 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪︎ bladeofmatrix シ | +2.89 | 69 | 78 |
| #2 | Ochsenpensi | +1.39 | 68 | 70 |
| #3 | IDoMethDaily | +0.54 | 61 | 53 |
| #4 | rayk* | +0.37 | 71 | 67 |
| #5 | ¡A la mierda! | -0.06 | 73 | 78 |





