








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1030 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 163 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 58 matches | ||
| Renown | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 108 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3513 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,369 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4986 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3627 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 5798 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3958 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $748,987 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪︎ bladeofmatrix シ | 54% | 24 |
| #2 | m1tCh | 46% | 120 |
| #3 | XIO* | 43% | 35 |
| #4 | IDoMethDaily | 42% | 139 |
| #5 | MindCorrosion | 42% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | XIO* | 43% | 35 |
| #4 | IDoMethDaily | 42% | 139 |
| #5 | MindCorrosion | 42% | 112 |
| #6 | rayk* | 41% | 99 |
| #7 | Schlumpfdonald | 39% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m1tCh | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | IDoMethDaily | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | rayk* | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | XIO* | 4 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | MindCorrosion | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rayk* | 357 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | IDoMethDaily | 272 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | m1tCh | 152 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | MindCorrosion | 137 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | Schlumpfdonald | 97 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪︎ bladeofmatrix シ | +2.70 | 73 | 78 |
| #2 | rayk* | +0.65 | 71 | 64 |
| #3 | m1tCh | +0.32 | 67 | 69 |
| #4 | MindCorrosion | +0.11 | 65 | 72 |
| #5 | grandpaCheech つ༽◕_◕ ༽つ | +0.02 | 72 | 77 |





