








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 294 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Renown | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1959 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,805 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1488 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1714 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2078 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1525 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,009,881 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 400 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪︎ bladeofmatrix シ | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | ¡A la mierda! | 56% | 68 |
| #3 | m1tCh | 55% | 58 |
| #4 | Schlumpfdonald | 52% | 132 |
| #5 | IDoMethDaily | 48% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | IDoMethDaily | 48% | 154 |
| #6 | grandpaCheechi .つ༽◕_◕ ༽つ. | 45% | 47 |
| #7 | grandpaCheech つ༽◕_◕ ༽つ | 42% | 112 |
| #8 | rayk* | 41% | 87 |
| #9 | XIO* | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rayk* | 8 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | IDoMethDaily | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | grandpaCheech つ༽◕_◕ ༽つ | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | ¡A la mierda! | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | XIO* | 2 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rayk* | 320 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | IDoMethDaily | 298 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | grandpaCheech つ༽◕_◕ ༽つ | 193 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Schlumpfdonald | 99 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | m1tCh | 98 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪︎ bladeofmatrix シ | +2.62 | 69 | 73 |
| #2 | rayk* | +0.47 | 69 | 68 |
| #3 | IDoMethDaily | +0.31 | 57 | 54 |
| #4 | MindCorrosion | +0.21 | 63 | 70 |
| #5 | ¡A la mierda! | -0.24 | 69 | 77 |





