








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 608 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 138 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2632 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,469 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3609 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2676 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4316 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2868 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $614,311 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IDoMethDaily | 57% | 97 |
| #2 | ✪︎ bladeofmatrix シ | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | MindCorrosion | 56% | 68 |
| #4 | m1tCh | 55% | 89 |
| #5 | Schlumpfdonald | 49% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | MindCorrosion | 56% | 68 |
| #4 | m1tCh | 55% | 89 |
| #5 | Schlumpfdonald | 49% | 100 |
| #6 | rayk* | 44% | 93 |
| #7 | XIO* | 27% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rayk* | 9 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | IDoMethDaily | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | m1tCh | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Schlumpfdonald | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | XIO* | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rayk* | 275 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | IDoMethDaily | 181 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | m1tCh | 136 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | MindCorrosion | 89 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Schlumpfdonald | 79 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪︎ bladeofmatrix シ | +2.87 | 69 | 69 |
| #2 | MindCorrosion | +0.84 | 62 | 70 |
| #3 | rayk* | +0.70 | 72 | 70 |
| #4 | IDoMethDaily | +0.54 | 61 | 50 |
| #5 | ¡A la mierda! | -0.21 | 71 | 78 |





