








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1236 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 92 matches | ||
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 95 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4921 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,754 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4977 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4106 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2978 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3693 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,504,819 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 876 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChaosGeneral | 78% | 89 |
| #2 | Wilsonnr1 | 71% | 58 |
| #3 | DrPogoface | 70% | 61 |
| #4 | -KeegaN- | 66% | 32 |
| #5 | Cheep Heep | 64% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☇Ĥ☈IS WĤ✪?! ﴾͡๏̯͡๏﴿ | 834 | 0.20 | 21 min |
| #2 | Cheep Heep | 612 | 0.22 | 16 min |
| #3 | Diabetesbruh | 537 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #4 | DaDavidoof 17.13.19 | 343 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #5 | katsu- | 200 | 0.10 | 6 min |





