








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2456 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 159 matches | ||
| Wingman | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 141 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5537 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,093 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8948 | 32% |
| Smokes | 7565 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5356 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 6224 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,443,990 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 629 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | ChaosGeneral | 52% | 44 |
| #10 | paddyR | 51% | 47 |
| #11 | Diabetesbruh | 51% | 253 |
| #12 | asxx^ | 47% | 38 |
| #13 | tudo | 40% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A n g r y A 1 p o | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Diabetesbruh | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | DaDavidoof 17.13.19 | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | asxx^ | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | katsu- | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Diabetesbruh | 653 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #2 | DaDavidoof 17.13.19 | 540 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #3 | A n g r y A 1 p o | 479 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #4 | katsu- | 333 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #5 | DrPogoface | 212 | 0.12 | 6 min |





