








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 527 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Ancient | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 60 matches | ||
| Wingman | 58 matches | ||
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 153 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5922 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,287 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6742 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6460 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5104 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4981 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,539,160 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1017 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChaosGeneral | 64% | 303 |
| #2 | T4k1 | 64% | 171 |
| #3 | Wilsonnr1 | 60% | 81 |
| #4 | DrPogoface | 60% | 136 |
| #5 | A n g r y A 1 p o | 59% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Xerwell | 57% | 144 |
| #9 | -KeegaN- | 55% | 136 |
| #10 | ☇Ĥ☈IS WĤ✪?! ﴾͡๏̯͡๏﴿ | 55% | 255 |
| #11 | katsu- | 52% | 255 |
| #12 | paddyR | 35% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheep Heep | 21 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | ChaosGeneral | 15 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Diabetesbruh | 12 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | ☇Ĥ☈IS WĤ✪?! ﴾͡๏̯͡๏﴿ | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | A n g r y A 1 p o | 9 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheep Heep | 1382 | 0.19 | 37 min |
| #2 | Diabetesbruh | 1277 | 0.16 | 37 min |
| #3 | ☇Ĥ☈IS WĤ✪?! ﴾͡๏̯͡๏﴿ | 838 | 0.18 | 22 min |
| #4 | ChaosGeneral | 529 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #5 | katsu- | 484 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wilsonnr1 | +3.69 | 88 | 63 |
| #2 | DrPogoface | +2.23 | 79 | 68 |
| #3 | ☇Ĥ☈IS WĤ✪?! ﴾͡๏̯͡๏﴿ | +2.15 | 73 | 73 |
| #4 | ChaosGeneral | +2.03 | 68 | 65 |
| #5 | T4k1 | +1.57 | 77 | 73 |





