








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1011 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Anubis | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 76 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 96 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11159 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,378 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5458 | 17% |
| Smokes | 7577 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 8940 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 9403 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,657,544 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 952 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | -KeegaN- | 65% | 205 |
| #12 | katsu- | 64% | 83 |
| #13 | Wuffles | 60% | 103 |
| #14 | A n g r y A 1 p o | 59% | 100 |
| #15 | DaDavidoof 17.13.19 | 57% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheep Heep | 33 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | ChaosGeneral | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | ✪ CoachAnt | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | DrPogoface | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | -KeegaN- | 8 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheep Heep | 2984 | 0.18 | 81 min |
| #2 | Diabetesbruh | 1058 | 0.14 | 29 min |
| #3 | -KeegaN- | 533 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #4 | ChaosGeneral | 525 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #5 | ✪ CoachAnt | 504 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ CoachAnt | +4.46 | 96 | 60 |
| #2 | Wilsonnr1 | +2.71 | 88 | 59 |
| #3 | DrPogoface | +2.34 | 81 | 67 |
| #4 | Xerwell | +1.76 | 86 | 60 |
| #5 | r4yz | +1.42 | 85 | 68 |





