








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 887 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 55 matches | ||
| Wingman | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 79 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6625 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,132 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5698 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5928 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6119 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5387 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,236,903 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 244 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wilsonnr1 | 72% | 46 |
| #2 | T4k1 | 69% | 111 |
| #3 | ChaosGeneral | 68% | 181 |
| #4 | Cheep Heep | 64% | 274 |
| #5 | Xerwell | 64% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cheep Heep | 12 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | ChaosGeneral | 11 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | DaDavidoof 17.13.19 | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Diabetesbruh | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | ☇Ĥ☈IS WĤ✪?! ﴾͡๏̯͡๏﴿ | 9 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wilsonnr1 | +2.71 | 83 | 62 |
| #2 | DrPogoface | +2.51 | 80 | 65 |
| #3 | ChaosGeneral | +2.20 | 71 | 65 |
| #4 | ☇Ĥ☈IS WĤ✪?! ﴾͡๏̯͡๏﴿ | +1.84 | 75 | 75 |
| #5 | Xerwell | +1.61 | 87 | 57 |





