








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 710 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2619 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,667 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1658 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2975 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2055 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1979 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $672,624 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WantSomeRice? | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | J 1 T | 50% | 16 |
| #3 | covidmeister | 47% | 32 |
| #4 | hey y'all Scott here | 46% | 144 |
| #5 | pepsiman | 44% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | pepsiman | 44% | 133 |
| #6 | Tassu | 43% | 154 |
| #7 | Hkne | 42% | 127 |
| #8 | Mane$I | 40% | 92 |
| #9 | Lapanen | 38% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tassu | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | hey y'all Scott here | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Mane$I | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Hkne | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Lapanen | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tassu | 381 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | Mane$I | 174 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | covidmeister | 146 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #4 | Hkne | 136 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | J 1 T | 73 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Niketiini | +3.96 | 74 | 67 |
| #2 | J 1 T | +1.98 | 69 | 61 |
| #3 | covidmeister | +0.95 | 73 | 68 |
| #4 | Tassu | +0.68 | 61 | 67 |
| #5 | pepsiman | -0.51 | 42 | 36 |





