








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 445 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2156 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,938 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2698 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2896 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2355 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1989 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,292,219 of utility $201 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Davyd | 42% | 72 |
| #8 | Makita | 41% | 39 |
| #9 | beefis | 41% | 22 |
| #10 | Kumivene Soodu | 36% | 33 |
| #11 | pomppy | 33% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mayonis | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Kumivene Soodu | 5 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | Finnyan | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | pomppy | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | VitunJulle | 3 | 0.0061 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mayonis | 299 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #2 | Davyd | 200 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | VitunJulle | 132 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #4 | lodsinn | 123 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | pomppy | 88 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mayonis | +3.79 | 77 | 69 |
| #2 | Davyd | +3.60 | 90 | 56 |
| #3 | VitunJulle | +3.43 | 49 | 63 |
| #4 | beefis | +0.78 | 67 | 69 |
| #5 | Finnyan | +0.55 | 52 | 32 |





