








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 153 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1584 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,125 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 434 | 14% |
| Smokes | 650 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1083 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 958 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,169,501 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tuuso | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | BirDie | 62% | 29 |
| #3 | n3xs*lel | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | 💎Suspect | 53% | 49 |
| #5 | Sugga | 52% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Meikä kantasuomalainen | 37% | 19 |
| #14 | Vextex | 33% | 15 |
| #15 | DenssiYläBörsään | 30% | 20 |
| #16 | M1xxut | 30% | 20 |
| #17 | Maco | 26% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Perkeleme1ster | 11 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | julses💭 | 6 | 0.0159 |
| #3 | Azunyan | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | 💎Suspect | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | DenssiYläBörsään | 4 | 0.0096 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Perkeleme1ster | 507 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #2 | Sugga | 442 | 0.27 | 14 min |
| #3 | Biggest Chungus | 233 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | Toucanos | 213 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | Azunyan | 166 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | homo | +5.93 | 86 | 56 |
| #2 | BirDie | +4.89 | 85 | 73 |
| #3 | Biggest Chungus | +2.38 | 80 | 61 |
| #4 | n3xs*lel | +1.47 | 60 | 61 |
| #5 | Sugga | +1.29 | 58 | 74 |





