








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 424 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 329 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2894 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,324 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4018 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2631 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4459 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2216 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,549,647 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 307 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vextex | 51% | 51 |
| #2 | Azunyan | 48% | 239 |
| #3 | Biggest Chungus | 48% | 370 |
| #4 | 💎Suspect | 46% | 108 |
| #5 | Toucanos | 45% | 260 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Biggest Chungus | 48% | 370 |
| #4 | 💎Suspect | 46% | 108 |
| #5 | Toucanos | 45% | 260 |
| #6 | Kalaksi | 45% | 135 |
| #7 | Maco | 43% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kalaksi | 14 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Azunyan | 10 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Biggest Chungus | 7 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | 💎Suspect | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Toucanos | 4 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Biggest Chungus | 604 | 0.08 | 15 min |
| #2 | Azunyan | 486 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #3 | Toucanos | 419 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #4 | Maco | 194 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | 💎Suspect | 116 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Biggest Chungus | +1.76 | 82 | 60 |
| #2 | Maco | +1.15 | 66 | 57 |
| #3 | Azunyan | -0.35 | 51 | 59 |
| #4 | Perkeleme1ster | -0.68 | 69 | 72 |
| #5 | Toucanos | -1.20 | 59 | 57 |





