








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 271 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 247 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2984 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,714 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2338 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2003 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2776 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2597 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,086,346 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vextex | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | Ipa | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | 💎Suspect | 49% | 86 |
| #4 | Toucanos | 49% | 166 |
| #5 | Perkeleme1ster | 48% | 239 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Toucanos | 49% | 166 |
| #5 | Perkeleme1ster | 48% | 239 |
| #6 | Biggest Chungus | 48% | 258 |
| #7 | Kalaksi | 48% | 84 |
| #8 | Maco | 46% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Perkeleme1ster | 16 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Kalaksi | 12 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | 💎Suspect | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Biggest Chungus | 4 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Toucanos | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Perkeleme1ster | 749 | 0.15 | 25 min |
| #2 | Biggest Chungus | 391 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #3 | Toucanos | 285 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | Maco | 129 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | 💎Suspect | 80 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ipa | +4.76 | 86 | 77 |
| #2 | Maco | +1.65 | 70 | 58 |
| #3 | Biggest Chungus | +1.58 | 81 | 62 |
| #4 | Azunyan | -0.25 | 52 | 61 |
| #5 | Perkeleme1ster | -0.42 | 71 | 71 |





