








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 317 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 207 matches | ||
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4286 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,241 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4293 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2231 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 3859 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3858 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,803,915 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 409 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LuFFe' mvp | 61% | 38 |
| #2 | Wolle^ | 57% | 40 |
| #3 | zeplexy | 56% | 204 |
| #4 | K1llerN1ller | 52% | 83 |
| #5 | GrumpyPants | 51% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | K1llerN1ller | 52% | 83 |
| #5 | GrumpyPants | 51% | 133 |
| #6 | miklo1 | 51% | 91 |
| #7 | Strike.Ly | 48% | 52 |
| #8 | Sergent Shadow | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeplexy | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | GrumpyPants | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | miklo1 | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Sergent Shadow | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Wolle^ | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GrumpyPants | 590 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #2 | zeplexy | 505 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #3 | miklo1 | 294 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | Strike.Ly | 168 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | Wolle^ | 104 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeplexy | +4.18 | 91 | 72 |
| #2 | K1llerN1ller | +1.47 | 69 | 38 |
| #3 | GrumpyPants | +1.40 | 65 | 72 |
| #4 | Wolle^ | +0.98 | 66 | 75 |
| #5 | miklo1 | -0.96 | 46 | 67 |





