








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 299 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Faceit | 73 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1998 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,278 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 824 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1106 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1070 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 278 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $982,355 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Strike.Ly | 61% | 107 |
| #2 | GrumpyPants | 56% | 180 |
| #3 | miklo1 | 55% | 144 |
| #4 | zeplexy | 55% | 64 |
| #5 | Sergent Shadow | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | GrumpyPants | 56% | 180 |
| #3 | miklo1 | 55% | 144 |
| #4 | zeplexy | 55% | 64 |
| #5 | Sergent Shadow | 53% | 15 |
| #6 | Sheriffen | 52% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | miklo1 | 16 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | GrumpyPants | 15 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | zeplexy | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Strike.Ly | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Sheriffen | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GrumpyPants | 807 | 0.22 | 22 min |
| #2 | miklo1 | 619 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #3 | Strike.Ly | 295 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | Sheriffen | 123 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | zeplexy | 117 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeplexy | +4.51 | 91 | 70 |
| #2 | K1llerN1ller | +1.37 | 61 | 42 |
| #3 | GrumpyPants | +0.36 | 63 | 70 |
| #4 | miklo1 | -0.82 | 41 | 61 |
| #5 | Strike.Ly | -0.88 | 67 | 64 |





