








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 143 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 90 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2160 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,678 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2610 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2203 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2106 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1759 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $705,289 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 428 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Strike.Ly | 60% | 50 |
| #2 | GrumpyPants | 55% | 152 |
| #3 | LIL TIM #KilledMonkeyVON | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | K1llerN1ller | 55% | 144 |
| #5 | Sergent Shadow | 54% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | LIL TIM #KilledMonkeyVON | 55% | 20 |
| #4 | K1llerN1ller | 55% | 144 |
| #5 | Sergent Shadow | 54% | 24 |
| #6 | zeplexy | 54% | 63 |
| #7 | Sheriffen | 51% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GrumpyPants | 12 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | LIL TIM #KilledMonkeyVON | 11 | 0.0261 |
| #3 | K1llerN1ller | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Sheriffen | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | zeplexy | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GrumpyPants | 710 | 0.23 | 19 min |
| #2 | Strike.Ly | 182 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Sheriffen | 168 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | K1llerN1ller | 167 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | zeplexy | 131 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeplexy | +4.77 | 92 | 70 |
| #2 | LIL TIM #KilledMonkeyVON | +1.43 | 58 | 42 |
| #3 | K1llerN1ller | +1.40 | 63 | 42 |
| #4 | GrumpyPants | +1.26 | 66 | 71 |
| #5 | miklo1 | -0.02 | 42 | 65 |





