








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 545 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 174 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2187 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,798 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2827 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2095 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2211 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2665 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $601,927 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 592 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K1llerN1ller | 61% | 107 |
| #2 | miklo1 | 60% | 50 |
| #3 | GrumpyPants | 57% | 178 |
| #4 | zeplexy | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | Sheriffen | 48% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | miklo1 | 60% | 50 |
| #3 | GrumpyPants | 57% | 178 |
| #4 | zeplexy | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | Sheriffen | 48% | 52 |
| #6 | Sergent Shadow | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GrumpyPants | 16 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | miklo1 | 7 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | zeplexy | 6 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | K1llerN1ller | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Sheriffen | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GrumpyPants | 660 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #2 | miklo1 | 264 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #3 | Sheriffen | 112 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | K1llerN1ller | 102 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | zeplexy | 80 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeplexy | +4.45 | 95 | 65 |
| #2 | K1llerN1ller | +1.60 | 59 | 39 |
| #3 | GrumpyPants | +0.99 | 62 | 69 |
| #4 | miklo1 | +0.27 | 48 | 65 |
| #5 | Strike.Ly | -0.74 | 70 | 66 |





