








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 203 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Faceit | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3295 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,342 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5216 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4919 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2389 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2818 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $990,236 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Strike.Ly | 57% | 178 |
| #2 | K1llerN1ller | 56% | 180 |
| #3 | miklo1 | 55% | 152 |
| #4 | zeplexy | 54% | 90 |
| #5 | Sergent Shadow | 52% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | K1llerN1ller | 56% | 180 |
| #3 | miklo1 | 55% | 152 |
| #4 | zeplexy | 54% | 90 |
| #5 | Sergent Shadow | 52% | 48 |
| #6 | Sheriffen | 51% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | miklo1 | 13 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | zeplexy | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Strike.Ly | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | K1llerN1ller | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Sheriffen | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | miklo1 | 602 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #2 | Strike.Ly | 460 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | Sheriffen | 224 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | K1llerN1ller | 189 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | zeplexy | 180 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zeplexy | +4.75 | 93 | 71 |
| #2 | K1llerN1ller | +1.24 | 63 | 40 |
| #3 | GrumpyPants | +0.67 | 64 | 69 |
| #4 | miklo1 | -0.60 | 43 | 63 |
| #5 | Strike.Ly | -1.06 | 67 | 64 |





