










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1030 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 553 matches | ||
| Faceit | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8150 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,268 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7580 | 30% |
| Smokes | 7979 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3225 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 6484 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,486,792 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1210 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pikaboof | 55% | 467 |
| #2 | Mason | 52% | 456 |
| #3 | Bqldrick | 50% | 329 |
| #4 | Atém | 45% | 190 |
| #5 | mr.doom | 44% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pikaboof | 55% | 467 |
| #2 | Mason | 52% | 456 |
| #3 | Bqldrick | 50% | 329 |
| #4 | Atém | 45% | 190 |
| #5 | mr.doom | 44% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pikaboof | 22 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Mason | 21 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Bqldrick | 21 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Atém | 14 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | mr.doom | 5 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pikaboof | 1139 | 0.12 | 26 min |
| #2 | Mason | 867 | 0.09 | 18 min |
| #3 | Atém | 205 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | mr.doom | 134 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bqldrick | 87 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pikaboof | +3.04 | 70 | 67 |
| #2 | S L I C K | +0.98 | 59 | 65 |
| #3 | Atém | -1.03 | 53 | 50 |
| #4 | Bqldrick | -1.93 | 48 | 26 |
| #5 | Mason | -1.94 | 25 | 53 |





