








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 381 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 415 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2672 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,164 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4149 | 19% |
| Smokes | 7655 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 4691 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5669 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,596,867 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 259 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S L I C K | 52% | 456 |
| #2 | Pikaboof | 52% | 445 |
| #3 | Bqldrick | 48% | 368 |
| #4 | Atém | 45% | 237 |
| #5 | mr.doom | 34% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S L I C K | 52% | 456 |
| #2 | Pikaboof | 52% | 445 |
| #3 | Bqldrick | 48% | 368 |
| #4 | Atém | 45% | 237 |
| #5 | mr.doom | 34% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S L I C K | 21 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Bqldrick | 21 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Pikaboof | 18 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Atém | 11 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | mr.doom | 5 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pikaboof | 1042 | 0.11 | 24 min |
| #2 | S L I C K | 942 | 0.10 | 28 min |
| #3 | Atém | 254 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #4 | mr.doom | 112 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bqldrick | 89 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pikaboof | +3.43 | 71 | 65 |
| #2 | S L I C K | +1.32 | 61 | 66 |
| #3 | Atém | -0.77 | 54 | 49 |
| #4 | Mason | -1.85 | 25 | 53 |
| #5 | Bqldrick | -1.98 | 48 | 28 |





