








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 289 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 163 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2390 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,375 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1053 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1920 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2233 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1169 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,058,420 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 646 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mr.doom | 45% | 22 |
| #2 | Pikaboof | 45% | 205 |
| #3 | S L I C K | 45% | 190 |
| #4 | Mason | 45% | 237 |
| #5 | Bqldrick | 41% | 199 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mr.doom | 45% | 22 |
| #2 | Pikaboof | 45% | 205 |
| #3 | S L I C K | 45% | 190 |
| #4 | Mason | 45% | 237 |
| #5 | Bqldrick | 41% | 199 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S L I C K | 13 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Pikaboof | 11 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Bqldrick | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Mason | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | mr.doom | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pikaboof | 556 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #2 | Mason | 479 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #3 | S L I C K | 462 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #4 | mr.doom | 59 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Bqldrick | 48 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pikaboof | +3.14 | 72 | 66 |
| #2 | S L I C K | +0.72 | 60 | 67 |
| #3 | Atém | -0.61 | 54 | 49 |
| #4 | Mason | -2.04 | 22 | 53 |
| #5 | mr.doom | -2.29 | 14 | 46 |





