








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1048 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 449 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6344 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,543 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7050 | 24% |
| Smokes | 8647 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 6743 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7103 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,409,891 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 570 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S L I C K | 55% | 467 |
| #2 | Mason | 52% | 445 |
| #3 | Bqldrick | 48% | 315 |
| #4 | Atém | 45% | 205 |
| #5 | mr.doom | 42% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S L I C K | 55% | 467 |
| #2 | Mason | 52% | 445 |
| #3 | Bqldrick | 48% | 315 |
| #4 | Atém | 45% | 205 |
| #5 | mr.doom | 42% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S L I C K | 25 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Mason | 21 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Bqldrick | 19 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Atém | 14 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | mr.doom | 7 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S L I C K | 931 | 0.10 | 26 min |
| #2 | Mason | 780 | 0.08 | 16 min |
| #3 | Atém | 205 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | mr.doom | 151 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bqldrick | 82 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pikaboof | +3.10 | 71 | 66 |
| #2 | S L I C K | +0.80 | 59 | 64 |
| #3 | Atém | -0.98 | 54 | 48 |
| #4 | Mason | -1.99 | 24 | 53 |
| #5 | Bqldrick | -2.30 | 48 | 25 |





