








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 335 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3944 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,659 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1446 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2413 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1546 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1254 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,836,818 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CyBeR | 56% | 45 |
| #2 | Clyde#47 | 50% | 34 |
| #3 | Sparky™ | 50% | 296 |
| #4 | Dr. Greenthumb | 46% | 35 |
| #5 | _-JiGSaW-_ | 45% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Dr. Greenthumb | 46% | 35 |
| #5 | _-JiGSaW-_ | 45% | 75 |
| #6 | Sarg3 | 42% | 79 |
| #7 | P!xelTerror!st™ | 40% | 118 |
| #8 | iChuCky | 38% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _-JiGSaW-_ | 12 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Sparky™ | 9 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Sarg3 | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | iChuCky | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Dr. Greenthumb | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sarg3 | 261 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | CyBeR | 230 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #3 | _-JiGSaW-_ | 146 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | iChuCky | 95 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | P!xelTerror!st™ | 84 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | _-JiGSaW-_ | +2.69 | 72 | 57 |
| #2 | SGT_Ballas_xXx | +2.02 | 80 | 44 |
| #3 | CyBeR | +1.44 | 79 | 72 |
| #4 | iChuCky | +0.31 | 80 | 71 |
| #5 | Sparky™ | -1.35 | 47 | 30 |





