








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 423 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
670 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,608 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 998 | 28% |
| Smokes | 766 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 874 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 970 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $592,865 of utility $308 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 276 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kah-reem | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | Soul_Lives | 57% | 42 |
| #3 | Null | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | Whoosh whoosh | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | shrooney | 50% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | TR3Y | 45% | 56 |
| #8 | Sky | 43% | 7 |
| #9 | Mez | 42% | 12 |
| #10 | Alden | 41% | 46 |
| #11 | Dr. Juju PhD | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigzero | 8 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | Soul_Lives | 8 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | Alden | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | shrooney | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | TR3Y | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shrooney | 266 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | Alden | 199 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #3 | Soul_Lives | 130 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | bigzero | 113 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | TR3Y | 106 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sky | +5.02 | 84 | 83 |
| #2 | shrooney | +3.66 | 85 | 71 |
| #3 | bigzero | +2.36 | 88 | 65 |
| #4 | kah-reem | +2.03 | 81 | 75 |
| #5 | Whoosh whoosh | +1.17 | 84 | 54 |





