








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 876 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 149 matches | ||
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3736 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,396 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4470 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2663 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2903 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3360 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,536,279 of utility $175 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 789 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whoosh whoosh | 58% | 136 |
| #2 | shrooney | 58% | 200 |
| #3 | Loftiez | 57% | 42 |
| #4 | Sky | 57% | 98 |
| #5 | kah-reem | 56% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | kah-reem | 56% | 32 |
| #6 | bigzero | 55% | 148 |
| #7 | Alden | 54% | 175 |
| #8 | TR3Y | 51% | 113 |
| #9 | dankT | 34% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigzero | 22 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | Alden | 18 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | shrooney | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | TR3Y | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | Loftiez | 4 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shrooney | 1006 | 0.24 | 30 min |
| #2 | Alden | 849 | 0.24 | 20 min |
| #3 | Whoosh whoosh | 476 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #4 | Sky | 471 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #5 | bigzero | 401 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shrooney | +2.68 | 88 | 72 |
| #2 | Sky | +2.32 | 90 | 74 |
| #3 | bigzero | +2.25 | 92 | 65 |
| #4 | Whoosh whoosh | +0.09 | 84 | 53 |
| #5 | dankT | -0.05 | 83 | 64 |





