








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 595 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 184 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3996 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,707 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3785 | 43% |
| Smokes | 1085 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 1680 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2157 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,734,726 of utility $239 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 301 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soul_Lives | 58% | 136 |
| #2 | Sky | 57% | 79 |
| #3 | shrooney | 57% | 123 |
| #4 | Alden | 50% | 165 |
| #5 | Loftiez | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | shrooney | 57% | 123 |
| #4 | Alden | 50% | 165 |
| #5 | Loftiez | 50% | 26 |
| #6 | bigzero | 49% | 102 |
| #7 | TR3Y | 49% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Soul_Lives | 15 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | bigzero | 14 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Alden | 12 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | TR3Y | 10 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | shrooney | 6 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alden | 796 | 0.23 | 18 min |
| #2 | shrooney | 667 | 0.26 | 21 min |
| #3 | Soul_Lives | 484 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #4 | Sky | 367 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #5 | bigzero | 289 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sky | +3.42 | 91 | 74 |
| #2 | shrooney | +2.74 | 88 | 75 |
| #3 | bigzero | +1.94 | 93 | 64 |
| #4 | Whoosh whoosh | +0.61 | 83 | 55 |
| #5 | Soul_Lives | -0.24 | 75 | 62 |





