








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1037 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3281 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,666 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2360 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2715 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2110 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2481 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,343,875 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1594 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sky | 61% | 75 |
| #2 | Soul_Lives | 55% | 148 |
| #3 | Alden | 53% | 241 |
| #4 | shrooney | 52% | 145 |
| #5 | Whoosh whoosh | 49% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | shrooney | 52% | 145 |
| #5 | Whoosh whoosh | 49% | 102 |
| #6 | Loftiez | 49% | 47 |
| #7 | nich | 48% | 33 |
| #8 | TR3Y | 46% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alden | 26 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Soul_Lives | 22 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | TR3Y | 10 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | shrooney | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Loftiez | 4 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alden | 1077 | 0.22 | 25 min |
| #2 | shrooney | 757 | 0.26 | 23 min |
| #3 | Soul_Lives | 496 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #4 | Sky | 390 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #5 | Whoosh whoosh | 369 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sky | +3.40 | 91 | 75 |
| #2 | shrooney | +2.45 | 87 | 73 |
| #3 | bigzero | +2.29 | 93 | 64 |
| #4 | Whoosh whoosh | +0.18 | 80 | 53 |
| #5 | Alden | -0.56 | 72 | 65 |





