








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1240 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5958 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,840 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4549 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2843 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3924 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3524 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,218,242 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 373 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chΰbbi☻ | 87% | 61 |
| #2 | CEMENT_BAKING | 84% | 108 |
| #3 | skaproodle | 81% | 43 |
| #4 | ステーキ | 77% | 236 |
| #5 | kanyewestlover911 | 77% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moooks | 86 | 0.0207 |
| #2 | smxx | 66 | 0.0161 |
| #3 | ステーキ | 50 | 0.0108 |
| #4 | CEMENT_BAKING | 10 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | kanyewestlover911 | 9 | 0.0163 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ステーキ | 1197 | 0.26 | 26 min |
| #2 | smxx | 524 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | CEMENT_BAKING | 461 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #4 | moooks | 459 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #5 | skaproodle | 252 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skaproodle | +3.78 | 89 | 70 |
| #2 | CEMENT_BAKING | +3.64 | 78 | 75 |
| #3 | smxx | +3.24 | 79 | 40 |
| #4 | moooks | +2.84 | 88 | 48 |
| #5 | ステーキ | +2.37 | 75 | 57 |





