








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 858 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September






The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 222 matches | ||
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6648 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,913 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3567 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4242 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4026 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4078 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,019,030 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 932 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ImpressioN- #A | 94% | 47 |
| #2 | chΰbbi☻ | 89% | 76 |
| #3 | skaproodle | 88% | 43 |
| #4 | moooks | 78% | 408 |
| #5 | ステーキ | 77% | 461 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | CEMENT_BAKING | 77% | 202 |
| #8 | pinkcut | 76% | 188 |
| #9 | smxx | 76% | 376 |
| #10 | sohai lanjiao gugubird | 75% | 64 |
| #11 | 鬼.JW | 70% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moooks | 125 | 0.0160 |
| #2 | smxx | 95 | 0.0133 |
| #3 | ステーキ | 78 | 0.0089 |
| #4 | CEMENT_BAKING | 16 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | pinkcut | 14 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ステーキ | 2008 | 0.23 | 47 min |
| #2 | smxx | 927 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #3 | CEMENT_BAKING | 807 | 0.21 | 24 min |
| #4 | moooks | 757 | 0.10 | 17 min |
| #5 | pinkcut | 635 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ImpressioN- #A | +7.20 | 87 | 84 |
| #2 | skaproodle | +3.70 | 87 | 66 |
| #3 | moooks | +3.39 | 89 | 48 |
| #4 | CEMENT_BAKING | +3.09 | 78 | 76 |
| #5 | smxx | +2.96 | 81 | 41 |





