








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1518 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 278 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 255 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 88 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




180 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8932 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,476 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12706 | 39% |
| Smokes | 7627 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6240 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 5903 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,132,300 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 863 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sohai lanjiao gugubird | 84% | 82 |
| #2 | CEMENT_BAKING | 80% | 265 |
| #3 | Gentle Wife Beater | 78% | 133 |
| #4 | smxx | 78% | 513 |
| #5 | `ReiWhite | 77% | 461 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | `ReiWhite | 77% | 461 |
| #6 | pinkcut | 77% | 236 |
| #7 | moooks | 76% | 582 |
| #8 | Imagination | 75% | 69 |
| #9 | 鬼.JW | 68% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moooks | 172 | 0.0152 |
| #2 | smxx | 124 | 0.0126 |
| #3 | CEMENT_BAKING | 28 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | pinkcut | 24 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | sohai lanjiao gugubird | 20 | 0.0123 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smxx | 1277 | 0.13 | 24 min |
| #2 | moooks | 1088 | 0.10 | 22 min |
| #3 | CEMENT_BAKING | 1065 | 0.21 | 29 min |
| #4 | pinkcut | 797 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #5 | `ReiWhite | 588 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Imagination | +3.53 | 93 | 71 |
| #2 | ステーキ | +3.07 | 79 | 60 |
| #3 | CEMENT_BAKING | +3.04 | 77 | 74 |
| #4 | smxx | +2.93 | 78 | 42 |
| #5 | moooks | +2.92 | 89 | 47 |





