








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1622 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 323 matches | ||
| Premier | 278 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 183 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




301 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13617 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,786 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7288 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3821 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 10420 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 6257 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,155,454 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3447 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CEMENT_BAKING | 78% | 320 |
| #2 | ステーキ | 78% | 513 |
| #3 | moooks | 76% | 446 |
| #4 | tohbias | 76% | 78 |
| #5 | `ReiWhite | 76% | 376 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Sphinx | 64% | 190 |
| #11 | kanyewestlover911 | 64% | 173 |
| #12 | 𐂃 | 61% | 117 |
| #13 | Spotify | 60% | 108 |
| #14 | ᵈᵉˢᵗⁱⁿʸ | 58% | 178 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moooks | 172 | 0.0201 |
| #2 | ステーキ | 103 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | kanyewestlover911 | 37 | 0.0109 |
| #4 | CEMENT_BAKING | 27 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Gentle Wife Beater | 21 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ステーキ | 2198 | 0.22 | 51 min |
| #2 | CEMENT_BAKING | 1323 | 0.22 | 36 min |
| #3 | moooks | 784 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #4 | pinkcut | 640 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #5 | kanyewestlover911 | 598 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smxx | +3.64 | 79 | 42 |
| #2 | tohbias | +3.50 | 86 | 64 |
| #3 | CEMENT_BAKING | +3.27 | 80 | 74 |
| #4 | ステーキ | +2.84 | 78 | 60 |
| #5 | kasuru | +2.68 | 66 | 36 |





