








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 87 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
400 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 738 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 166 | 22% |
| Smokes | 222 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 190 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 160 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $189,153 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 16bitfrost | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | KC Crusader | 50% | 26 |
| #3 | Chronic BLS (Big Load Syndrome) | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | ⇚SAILOR✪DANDY⇛ | 41% | 32 |
| #5 | Armor | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Big Boss | 35% | 26 |
| #8 | Chupachu | 33% | 3 |
| #9 | Dr.Brick243 | 33% | 3 |
| #10 | Gods 1st Drunkest Driver | 20% | 5 |
| #11 | Chiyken | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⇚SAILOR✪DANDY⇛ | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Big Boss | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | KC Crusader | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Stayedsnake509 | 1 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Chronic BLS (Big Load Syndrome) | 1 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⇚SAILOR✪DANDY⇛ | 63 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #2 | Big Boss | 34 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Chupachu | 17 | 0.25 | 0 min |
| #4 | KC Crusader | 10 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #5 | Armor | 10 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chupachu | +3.65 | 27 | 35 |
| #2 | Chronic BLS (Big Load Syndrome) | +3.62 | 67 | 39 |
| #3 | ⇚SAILOR✪DANDY⇛ | +3.23 | 68 | 61 |
| #4 | datpooo | +2.46 | 49 | 42 |
| #5 | Gods 1st Drunkest Driver | +0.79 | 23 | 14 |





