








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 310 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3564 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,521 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8675 | 40% |
| Smokes | 4872 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3687 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4287 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,521,087 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 898 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MamaSw00b | 58% | 71 |
| #2 | OAF | Zer0^ | 57% | 91 |
| #3 | anyways | 55% | 77 |
| #4 | 𝕤𝕝𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕣 | 54% | 76 |
| #5 | MashaTriceps | 53% | 309 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MashaTriceps | 24 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Caado | 9 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Spider | 8 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Rain | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | anyways | 6 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MashaTriceps | 707 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #2 | Caado | 378 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #3 | Jonboy | 374 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #4 | Rain | 296 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #5 | 𝕤𝕝𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕣 | 295 | 0.19 | 9 min |





