








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1084 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 551 matches | ||
| Faceit | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 59 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10513 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,077 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8712 | 23% |
| Smokes | 10803 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 11251 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 7311 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,671,310 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1859 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DrugStoreINC | 68% | 73 |
| #2 | OAF | Zer0^ | 58% | 175 |
| #3 | anyways | 57% | 67 |
| #4 | majesTic | 55% | 89 |
| #5 | 𝕤𝕝𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕣 | 55% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Cereal_Killer | 48% | 124 |
| #14 | SAVE ME TOM CRUISE | 47% | 104 |
| #15 | Spider | 47% | 214 |
| #16 | eXpLoSiVo | 45% | 106 |
| #17 | Metta World ☮ | 35% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rain | 24 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | MashaTriceps | 17 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Spider | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Mike Wasowski | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | Jonboy | 7 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rain | 998 | 0.11 | 25 min |
| #2 | MashaTriceps | 892 | 0.11 | 20 min |
| #3 | Jonboy | 872 | 0.18 | 24 min |
| #4 | MamaSw00b | 602 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #5 | antiprogram | 542 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OAF | Zer0^ | +3.60 | 75 | 68 |
| #2 | Mike Wasowski | +2.40 | 80 | 28 |
| #3 | DrugStoreINC | +1.94 | 66 | 44 |
| #4 | 𝕤𝕝𝕒𝕔𝕜𝕖𝕣 | +1.76 | 67 | 80 |
| #5 | Spider | +1.21 | 56 | 46 |





