








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1295 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 117 matches | 2,213 | |
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3807 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,618 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3524 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2510 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1897 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2687 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $751,400 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2470 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KAYGO | 60% | 53 |
| #2 | pazzy | 59% | 83 |
| #3 | Bjorna | 58% | 73 |
| #4 | ✪ Aspeladden | 56% | 34 |
| #5 | s1k | 55% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | s1k | 55% | 31 |
| #6 | Jokoor | 53% | 15 |
| #7 | J-Mark | 49% | 100 |
| #8 | Ingrid ♡ | 47% | 166 |
| #9 | Christina ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pazzy | 10 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | J-Mark | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Bjorna | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Ingrid ♡ | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | KAYGO | 4 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pazzy | 203 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | KAYGO | 193 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | Bjorna | 128 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | J-Mark | 115 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | ✪ Aspeladden | 80 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pazzy | +3.88 | 95 | 45 |
| #2 | ✪ Hoppin | +3.60 | 92 | 70 |
| #3 | ✪ Aspeladden | +1.75 | 83 | 60 |
| #4 | s1k | +1.47 | 74 | 49 |
| #5 | J-Mark | +0.18 | 77 | 46 |





