








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1072 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 148 matches | ||
| Esplay | 97 matches | 2,293 | |
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




83 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6342 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,532 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2767 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3485 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1615 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2665 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,687,390 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1087 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B3NJ1 | 69% | 29 |
| #2 | ✪ Hoppin | 59% | 83 |
| #3 | Jokoor | 58% | 71 |
| #4 | Bjorna | 57% | 116 |
| #5 | ✪ Aspeladden | 56% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | ♡ icy | 52% | 81 |
| #8 | Figgsa | 50% | 28 |
| #9 | s1k | 50% | 92 |
| #10 | J-Mark | 50% | 126 |
| #11 | Ingrid ♡ | 47% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Hoppin | 8 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Figgsa | 8 | 0.0141 |
| #3 | J-Mark | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Jokoor | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Salad | 5 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Hoppin | 368 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | Salad | 235 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | J-Mark | 149 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | Bjorna | 145 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | s1k | 115 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pazzy | +5.15 | 95 | 51 |
| #2 | B3NJ1 | +2.57 | 91 | 63 |
| #3 | ✪ Hoppin | +1.55 | 91 | 73 |
| #4 | ✪ Aspeladden | +1.50 | 82 | 58 |
| #5 | s1k | -0.04 | 78 | 45 |





