








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Wingman | 71 matches | ||
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4856 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,131 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6060 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6409 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3373 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 5289 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $689,741 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 224 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sausage, Egg & Cheese McGriddle | 68% | 47 |
| #2 | Guacamole | 62% | 29 |
| #3 | Chaka | 58% | 31 |
| #4 | reamus | 56% | 48 |
| #5 | DotZ. | 55% | 264 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DotZ. | 34 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Sleepy Joe | 28 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | ✪ KiWi | 16 | 0.0094 |
| #4 | Eisbär | 15 | 0.0073 |
| #5 | Burns | 11 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sleepy Joe | 1185 | 0.18 | 34 min |
| #2 | DotZ. | 1172 | 0.21 | 32 min |
| #3 | Eisbär | 486 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #4 | ✪ KiWi | 245 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | reamus | 203 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chaka | +6.15 | 84 | 68 |
| #2 | DotZ. | +3.10 | 82 | 64 |
| #3 | Eisbär | +2.38 | 83 | 66 |
| #4 | Say_Hey | +0.98 | 79 | 66 |
| #5 | reamus | +0.64 | 73 | 60 |





