








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 510 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 171 matches | ||
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3642 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,054 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4792 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4182 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2267 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3813 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $617,778 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 233 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guacamole | 65% | 43 |
| #2 | DotZ. | 55% | 145 |
| #3 | -Verse_ | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | Say_Hey | 53% | 96 |
| #5 | Rawr | 51% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | reamus | 48% | 61 |
| #8 | Burns | 47% | 100 |
| #9 | Dobby | 45% | 33 |
| #10 | finger | 44% | 36 |
| #11 | TurT1e | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DotZ. | 17 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Burns | 11 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Say_Hey | 10 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | poogs | 6 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | TurT1e | 5 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DotZ. | 612 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #2 | Say_Hey | 426 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #3 | Burns | 279 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | reamus | 272 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #5 | Rawr | 173 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Verse_ | +3.15 | 83 | 54 |
| #2 | Eisbär | +2.26 | 82 | 65 |
| #3 | DotZ. | +1.36 | 75 | 60 |
| #4 | TurT1e | +0.70 | 86 | 69 |
| #5 | reamus | -0.16 | 69 | 56 |





