








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 198 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 121 matches | ||
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3563 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,319 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4554 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4410 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2101 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3254 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,319,144 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 262 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anp0w's Millimeter Defeater | 71% | 31 |
| #2 | Chaka | 60% | 50 |
| #3 | Sausage, Egg & Cheese McGriddle | 59% | 61 |
| #4 | DotZ. | 56% | 137 |
| #5 | Say_Hey | 53% | 344 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Say_Hey | 27 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | DotZ. | 19 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | ✪ KiWi | 11 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | Chaka | 8 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | Steven Crazypants... | 7 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anp0w's Millimeter Defeater | +5.33 | 89 | 50 |
| #2 | Chaka | +5.13 | 87 | 69 |
| #3 | DotZ. | +4.41 | 85 | 63 |
| #4 | Say_Hey | +1.80 | 82 | 65 |
| #5 | Sleepy Joe | +0.76 | 82 | 64 |





