








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 444 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 225 matches | ||
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3667 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,431 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3844 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4135 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2475 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3977 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $948,029 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 543 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sleepy Joe | 51% | 73 |
| #2 | Say_Hey | 50% | 82 |
| #3 | DotZ. | 50% | 86 |
| #4 | enjoi | 49% | 35 |
| #5 | csr | 48% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | darkAD | 47% | 36 |
| #8 | Scrawny579 | 47% | 43 |
| #9 | gloop | 41% | 32 |
| #10 | yullD | 40% | 82 |
| #11 | Johnny Dang | 27% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DotZ. | 12 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Say_Hey | 10 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | yullD | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Sleepy Joe | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Dawg | 3 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Say_Hey | 390 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #2 | DotZ. | 387 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #3 | yullD | 266 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Sleepy Joe | 262 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #5 | darkAD | 109 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DotZ. | +3.04 | 80 | 62 |
| #2 | Dawg | +1.22 | 57 | 50 |
| #3 | enjoi | +0.67 | 78 | 57 |
| #4 | csr | +0.47 | 86 | 55 |
| #5 | Say_Hey | +0.43 | 78 | 68 |





