








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 383 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 195 matches | ||
| Faceit | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




53 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5504 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,011 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4925 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3806 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3120 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3160 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,175,224 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 250 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guacamole | 66% | 38 |
| #2 | Sleepy Joe | 56% | 137 |
| #3 | reamus | 56% | 43 |
| #4 | Eisbär | 55% | 145 |
| #5 | Say_Hey | 55% | 264 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eisbär | 34 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | Say_Hey | 28 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Burns | 20 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Sleepy Joe | 19 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | ✪ KiWi | 14 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Say_Hey | 1134 | 0.21 | 29 min |
| #2 | Eisbär | 737 | 0.24 | 18 min |
| #3 | Sleepy Joe | 543 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #4 | Burns | 288 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | ✪ KiWi | 275 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DotZ. | +2.61 | 81 | 62 |
| #2 | Eisbär | +2.24 | 82 | 66 |
| #3 | Sus Shiber* | +0.70 | 87 | 59 |
| #4 | Dawg | +0.09 | 67 | 67 |
| #5 | reamus | +0.08 | 71 | 59 |





