








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 239 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 177 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2673 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 731 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 112 | 15% |
| Smokes | 134 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 176 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 309 | 42% |
Our logs show you have wasted $151,476 of utility $24 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | moew moew | 58% | 66 |
| #2 | ButterCup Snusaim | 57% | 56 |
| #3 | lil missekat | 49% | 78 |
| #4 | KarstenKantsten | 46% | 132 |
| #5 | Karlo | 45% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | KarstenKantsten | 46% | 132 |
| #5 | Karlo | 45% | 143 |
| #6 | Young Dev1ceツ | 44% | 84 |
| #7 | Supreme-Leader | 43% | 63 |
| #8 | Kapperladen | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KarstenKantsten | 30 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | lil missekat | 24 | 0.0144 |
| #3 | moew moew | 17 | 0.0127 |
| #4 | Young Dev1ceツ | 13 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | Karlo | 12 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KarstenKantsten | 333 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | Karlo | 288 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | lil missekat | 180 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Young Dev1ceツ | 138 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | moew moew | 121 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KarstenKantsten | +2.08 | 77 | 63 |
| #2 | Kapperladen | +1.53 | 87 | 51 |
| #3 | Supreme-Leader | +1.15 | 60 | 56 |
| #4 | moew moew | +0.22 | 58 | 50 |
| #5 | ✪ Ham_Der_Dao ✪ | -0.08 | 68 | 14 |





