








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 677 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 153 matches | ||
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2504 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,192 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1850 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2627 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2373 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2342 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,200,750 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Jonah2804 | 48% | 87 |
| #6 | PM | 48% | 27 |
| #7 | kR1Z0 | 45% | 47 |
| #8 | NiftyJ | 40% | 30 |
| #9 | Skorpion ツ | 32% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NiftyJ | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Jonah2804 | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Timo die Aim Lockomotive | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | Jerry | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | kR1Z0 | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Timo die Aim Lockomotive | 547 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #2 | Jonah2804 | 465 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #3 | kR1Z0 | 163 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | Jerry | 122 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Jucktmichnicht | 88 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NiftyJ | +1.79 | 79 | 63 |
| #2 | Jerry | +1.26 | 68 | 47 |
| #3 | PM | +0.99 | 78 | 72 |
| #4 | Jucktmichnicht | +0.70 | 86 | 59 |
| #5 | Jonah2804 | +0.52 | 81 | 81 |





