








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1064 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 211 matches | ||
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4982 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,424 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2493 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2989 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2463 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3479 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,510,874 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PM | 61% | 49 |
| #2 | kR1Z0 | 60% | 68 |
| #3 | NiftyJ | 60% | 93 |
| #4 | IamDropZ | 58% | 59 |
| #5 | benE | 55% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Jonah2804 | 55% | 86 |
| #8 | Fred | 54% | 24 |
| #9 | Timo die Aim Lockomotive | 53% | 167 |
| #10 | Gʟ!Ɲ ☕ | 46% | 65 |
| #11 | Kosaku | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jonah2804 | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | NiftyJ | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Gʟ!Ɲ ☕ | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Timo die Aim Lockomotive | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | IamDropZ | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Timo die Aim Lockomotive | 546 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #2 | Jonah2804 | 475 | 0.25 | 14 min |
| #3 | kR1Z0 | 229 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Gʟ!Ɲ ☕ | 228 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | PM | 201 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NiftyJ | +1.55 | 79 | 59 |
| #2 | PM | +1.33 | 80 | 72 |
| #3 | Jerry | +1.24 | 69 | 51 |
| #4 | Jucktmichnicht | +0.67 | 85 | 60 |
| #5 | Gʟ!Ɲ ☕ | +0.67 | 60 | 75 |





