








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 540 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 302 matches | ||
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4655 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,795 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6372 | 28% |
| Smokes | 6709 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4493 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5221 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,345,645 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 227 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Invalid | 66% | 41 |
| #2 | Jerry | 60% | 68 |
| #3 | NiftyJ | 57% | 229 |
| #4 | :[ | 55% | 40 |
| #5 | not MK | 55% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Jonah2804 | 49% | 110 |
| #12 | Skorpion ツ | 45% | 33 |
| #13 | Kaizoku-ō | 45% | 73 |
| #14 | IamDropZ | 45% | 47 |
| #15 | nXs | 41% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slite | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | NiftyJ | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | :[ | 4 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | PM | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | not MK | 3 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Timo die Aim Lockomotive | 756 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #2 | Jonah2804 | 614 | 0.25 | 19 min |
| #3 | slite | 467 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #4 | NiftyJ | 440 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #5 | PM | 309 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nXs | +2.43 | 89 | 60 |
| #2 | NiftyJ | +2.09 | 82 | 55 |
| #3 | Invalid | +1.67 | 83 | 65 |
| #4 | Jucktmichnicht | +0.94 | 88 | 60 |
| #5 | Jonah2804 | +0.61 | 85 | 80 |





