








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 349 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 327 matches | ||
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3290 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,609 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3154 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3790 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3525 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3140 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,396,283 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PM | 68% | 75 |
| #2 | JonSom | 61% | 85 |
| #3 | Er3th0rn | 61% | 46 |
| #4 | slite | 58% | 36 |
| #5 | NiftyJ | 57% | 174 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Jonah2804 | 51% | 85 |
| #12 | T1Z | 50% | 28 |
| #13 | Timo die Aim Lockomotive | 50% | 206 |
| #14 | Doom | 48% | 31 |
| #15 | Syrox. | 40% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Timo die Aim Lockomotive | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #2 | NiftyJ | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Jonah2804 | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | kR1Z0 | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | PM | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Timo die Aim Lockomotive | 550 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #2 | Jonah2804 | 386 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #3 | kR1Z0 | 296 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | NiftyJ | 268 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | PM | 227 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NiftyJ | +1.72 | 82 | 58 |
| #2 | JonSom | +1.21 | 87 | 66 |
| #3 | David :) | +0.80 | 74 | 67 |
| #4 | Jonah2804 | +0.76 | 85 | 80 |
| #5 | Er3th0rn | +0.74 | 67 | 74 |





